


Jealousy Doesn't Suit You

by totalizzyness



Series: 00Q Prompts [8]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies), James Bond (Movies), Skyfall (2012) - Fandom
Genre: Jealousy, M/M, Prompt Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-20
Updated: 2012-11-20
Packaged: 2017-11-19 03:24:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/568549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/totalizzyness/pseuds/totalizzyness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>All the 00 agents ares starting to flirt with Q and James is more. than. jealous (like, would you all just stop before I have to kill you) and wants nothing more to rip them all away from (his) the Quartermaster, but they aren't in a relationship and he thinks it's unrequited (Q is therewhile just really confused about why everyone is flirting with him and why is James acting so weird?). Thing is, the 00s don't actually want anything from Q, because it's clear as the day that the Quartermaster and 007 are completely in love with each other. They just want to get them to finally confess it to each other.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jealousy Doesn't Suit You

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [Jealousy Doesn't Suit You](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1089282) by [AprilforSpring](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AprilforSpring/pseuds/AprilforSpring)



Q looked up to find 005 perched on the edge of his desk, smiling down at him sweetly. Q, in response, shot him a suspicious glance.  
  
“May I help you, Double-Oh-Five?”  
  
The agent grinned, leaning forward. “I just came to see how you were doing with the night-vision glasses prototype.”  
  
“Oh, right… The interns are having a little trouble getting them to switch from night-vision to normal vision, but other than that they’re coming along quite nicely.”  
  
005 hummed, slipping from Q’s desk and standing behind him, reaching around and picking up a parker pen from beside him. Q glanced over, turning back to his computer.  
  
“That doesn’t explode, you know.”  
  
005 laughed, louder than necessary — it wasn’t that funny a joke. “Oh Q, Bond said you were wonderfully witty.”  
  
Q’s hands halted over his keyboard. “He… He did?”  
  
“Oh yes. I’m starting to see what he sees in you.”  
  
“What he… sees in me?”  
  
“Mm-hmm… Anyway, must go.”  
  
005 popped the pen back down, stroking a hand over Q’s shoulders as he left. Q looked up at the door as it slid shut, wondering what on Earth had just happened. He’d finally pushed it from his mind when 007 wandered in, brandishing a manilla folder.  
  
“Double-Oh-Seven, how may I help you today?”  
  
Bond quirked an eyebrow. “Meaning?”  
  
Q shook his head, looking back down at his computer. “Oh nothing, just 005 was in here earlier, being… strange.”  
  
Bond narrowed his eyebrows, sitting on the corner of the desk closest to Q. “Strange how?”  
  
“Just… laughing at my jokes even though they weren’t funny, touching me… he was giving me the strangest looks… He said… he… He said he was beginning to see in me what you see in me.”  
  
Bond visibly straightened up, his eyes widening slightly before reverting back to his usual calm demeanour. “…Oh.”  
  
“Oh? What did he mean by that?”  
  
“Nothing, nothing. Um… I’m here to deliver this, and ask if you’ve fixed my gun. I have an upcoming mission, you know.”  
  
Q rolled his eyes, taking the folder. “I do know. And by fix your gun you mean, fabricate a brand new one, seeing as you didn’t return the last one I gave you?”  
  
Bond grinned. “I brought some of it back!”  
  
“Oh yes, the trigger, how kind.”  
  
Bond chuckled as Q pulled open a drawer, lifting out a black box, pushing it in front of the agent.  
  
“Don’t lose this one. Or break it, or destroy it, or bring it back in pieces. Please. Or else next mission you’ll be defending yourself with a super-soaker.”  
  
“Now there’s an idea. If you could make me one that squirts acid…”  
  
Q chuckled. “If you’re good, and bring back this gun, I’ll think about it.”  
  
Bond slipped from his desk, grabbing the box and giving Q’s shoulder a friendly squeeze. “I knew I liked you for a reason. I’ll be seeing you, Q.”  
  
“Likewise, Mr. Bond.”  
  
—  
  
Much to his disdain, Bond found himself teaming up with 009 for a mission. He didn’t have a problem with the other agents, he just liked to think of himself as a lone wolf, he didn’t work with other agents, especially after his death-that-wasn’t — there was no way Miss Moneypenny was living that down. And 009 was a good agent, he had a good eye and a steady hand… he just needed to learn to keep his hands off other people’s quartermasters.  
  
Bond knew that Q wasn’t his, but Goddamnit 009 needed to stop. Q was showing off the equipment they were to be using; a taser disguised as a mobile phone, a water gun filled with acid, just for Bond to play with, a tranquiliser dart disguised as a pen… And 009 found all these inventions amazing, grabbing Q’s arm, squeezing his almost non-existent bicep, just… touching him. A lot. Bond was grinding his teeth, seething watching the disgusting display in front of him. Q, bless him, was too confused by the sudden display of affection to say anything to 009, instead just trying to get on with his job. Bond was too busy oozing jealousy and hatred he didn’t notice the little smirks 009 kept sending him over his shoulder. He tried to distract himself, looking over the tranquiliser pen so he wouldn’t have to see 009 grope the poor quartermaster.  
  
“You and I should get coffee, Q.”  
  
Bond froze, his eyes widening dramatically. Q began fumbling over his words.  
  
“Oh um… that um, very kind but… I uh, don’t drink coffee.”  
  
009 smirked, stroking a hand over Q’s forearm. “Tea then, I’d quite like to spend more time with you outside…”  
  
009 trailed off, his eyes suddenly drooping before falling to the floor, unconscious. Q and Bond shared an odd look, before Q looked pointedly down at the pen in Bond’s hands. Bond looked down too, cringing when he noticed his thumb was pushing down the trigger.  
  
“Is there any reason you tranquilised Double-Oh-Nine?” Q huffed, kneeling next to the unconscious agent. Bond quickly put the pen down on the desk, hurrying over to help.  
  
“I didn’t mean to, it was an accident.”  
  
“Are you sure you’re a trained secret agent?”  
  
“It was an accident, Q!”  
  
Q sighed, reaching up to his desk, pulling out his phone to call up medical. Bond twisted his hands nervously, refusing to make eye contact with his quartermaster.  
  
—  
  
Bond had somehow wormed his way in to the security office, slumping down in the chair looking over the CCTV screens until he found the four for the Q branch. Q was at his station, taking apart what was left of the of the phone he’d returned from the last mission. He could see him muttering and shaking his head, Bond couldn’t help but smile.  
  
However, his smile was short-lived when he noticed 006 sidle in to Q branch, slipping up behind Q. He couldn’t see what was being said, but he watched on as 006 grabbed Q’s waist, making him jump. 006 had a predatory look about him as he took a hold of Q’s skinny arm, presumably apologising for frightening him. Q had a noticeable blush on his face. Bond began drumming his fingers angrily on the desk, watching his fellow agent blatantly ignore the concept of personal space.  
  
He grabbed his phone from his pocket, pulling up Q’s number and pressing ‘call’. He watched on the screen as Q held his finger up to 006, answering the call on his hands-free device pinned to his cardigan.  
  
“Q.”  
  
Bond leaned closer to the screen. “Q, are you busy?”  
  
“Bond!”  
  
He could see 006 laugh on screen, turning towards the camera.  
  
“I’m not busy, do you need something?”  
  
“Um… No, just keep talking to me, I’m trying out this new thing.”  
  
Q squinted, readjusting his earpiece; 006 casually looked around the room, occasionally smirking up at the camera. Bond scowled.  
  
“What thing?”  
  
“Just this thing…”  
  
Q chuckled. “How specific. If it’s technological you should bring it down.”  
  
James smirked. “What are you trying to say?”  
  
“That you’re old, and technologically impaired.”  
  
“Nice of you to say.”  
  
006 was still grinning, casually edging closer toward’s Q. Q, however, didn’t notice, too enthralled in their conversation.  
  
“So um, what are you doing?”  
  
Q turned back to his table, looking over the remains of the phone. “Small talk? Are you okay, Double-Oh?”  
  
“I said, I’m trying out a new thing, I need you to keep talking.”  
  
“Well, I know I said I’m not busy, but I’m no good at talking for the sake of it. If you’d like, I have Double-Oh-Six here, I’m sure he’d be happy to.”  
  
006 grinned, reaching out fro Q, grabbing his cardigan and pulling him closer. Q let out a little sound of surprise; Bond ground his teeth together.  
  
“Does James need me to talk to him?”  
  
“No, not Miller, talk to me Q.”  
  
Q frowned. “Sorry, just a minute Bond.”  
  
He watched Q take his earpiece out and pass it over to 006, unclipping the microphone. 006 grinned even wider, holding the mic up to his mouth.  
  
“Bond! How are we?”  
  
Bond scowled. “Put Q back on.”  
  
“I’m sorry, he’s a little busy right now.”  
  
“Miller-”  
  
“His knees are going to be sore tonight.”  
  
“Miller-”  
  
“And boy, that mouth.”  
  
Bond could see Q stare at 006 in horror. “I mean it-”  
  
“You should try this, Bond.”  
  
“I’m going to-”  
  
“Are we jealous, Bond?”  
  
Refusing to put up with 006’s cheek, Bond hung up, throwing his phone down on to the desk. 006 laughed, passing over the hands-free device. He looked up to the camera, winking before stalking out of the room.  
  
—  
  
Bond sat himself down at Q’s desk, ready for the telling off he was going to receive for not bringing back any of the equipment he’d been given for his last mission. Q quietly ignored Bond, continuing to tap away at his laptop, letting Bond get uncomfortable before shouting at him.  
  
“You know, I’m sorry,” Bond tried, holding his hands up innocently. Q glared over the top of his glasses.  
  
“What does that even mean?”  
  
Bond squinted. “Um… That I feel bad for-”  
  
“But do you? Feel bad?”  
  
“Well, yes.”  
  
“I don’t believe you.”  
  
Bond sighed. “Is there any way I can make it up to you?”  
  
“I don’t think so.”  
  
“Really? Nothing?”  
  
Q took his glasses off, rubbing his eyes before sighing. “There’s no way you’ll ever be capable of looking after any of the equipment I give you, is there.”  
  
Bond looked down at the table. “Probably not.”  
  
“But it’s just you. Double-Oh-Five brings his equipment back. As does Six, and Four… It’s just you.”  
  
“Oh?”  
  
“Agent Miller says you do it on purpose. To annoy me.”  
  
Bond scoffed. “Getting friendly with Miller, I see.”  
  
Q rolled his eyes. “He says you’re pulling my metaphorical pig-tails, whatever that’s supposed to mean. And is there something going on I’m not aware of? You’ve all been acting so strange.”  
  
“Strange how?”  
  
“The other agents have been showing a sudden interest in me, and Q branch. And you have been… Stranger than usual.”  
  
Bond nodded, looking at the back of his hand casually. Q continued to glare.  
  
“Bond.”  
  
“What do you want me to say, Q? That suddenly the other agents have noticed how amazing you are? And that it kills me to see them drape themselves all over you? You want me to admit how by some strange series of events I seem to have fallen head over heels for the skinny little nerd who continues to make me guns and looks out for me even when I do nothing but piss him off?!”  
  
Bond finally looked up, Q’s eyes had widened comically, his lips quirked in a startled pout.  
  
“Well… That’s… Um… Wow…”  
  
Bond let out a loud sigh, rubbing a hand over his face. “I’m going to leave now.”  
  
He pushed himself from his seat, marching towards the door. He didn’t hear Q’s chair scraping as he dove from his desk, reaching out for Bond’s arm.  
  
“James wait.”  
  
“What?” Bond huffed, spinning round. Q’s eyes nervously darted around the room before he lunged forward, mashing his lips against Bonds. Bond grunted in surprise, eyes wide as he tried to comprehend the situation. He felt Q stiffen and begin to pull away. His brain started working again, his arms wrapping around the quartermaster, pulling him against his chest. Q let out a muffled groan of surprise, his own arms slowly slipping up around Bond’s neck.  
  
Several floors up, Agents 005, 006, and 009 were gathered around Miss Moneypenny’s desk, grinning at her computer screen. On the screen was a camera feed of Q’s office, in particular, 007 and his quartermaster leaning up against the wall, kissing hungrily, hands grabbing at each other.  
  
“So whose doing was this?” Eve laughed.  
  
“It was a collective effort,” 005 smirked.

**Author's Note:**

> Also posted on my Tumblr; [[link](http://the-nerdinator.tumblr.com/post/36141739969/q-looked-up-to-find-005-perched-on-the-edge-of-his)]


End file.
